I hope your mind, body, and soul have been restored and refreshed so far in this beautiful new year. Although we are still fighting COVID-19 and currently experiencing a worldwide pandemic, I am still hopeful and grateful. Through this unforeseen time, one thing is for sure– this was an eye-opening year! It has shown me that I am not in control. In fact, it has shown me that God has always and will always be in control. I have always had a relationship with God, but honestly, I have been focused on what I want more than what he wants for my life. As the good saying goes, “want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

Related:The Most Valuable Lessons I’m Taking to 2020

Reflection

I am still in awe at the events that have transpired in 2020; it is still very unbelievable. Although there was much pain and stillness around the world, I was still able to find the good in 2020. I am naturally an optimist and I tend to look for the good in every situation. Sometimes my optimism gets in the way of me refusing to see the bad when it’s right in my face but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post- LOL!

For 2020, self-care was one of my top priorities. Since we were forced to stay home, I was actually able to spend a lot time with myself. The hustle and bustle of everyday life suddenly stopped for me. Often times, I was just going through the motions– wake up, work, take care of my girls, go to sleep–REPEAT. It was almost like I was on cruise control.

My work-life changed drastically– my school wasn’t equipped for virtual learning. I was no longer teaching, but my family life made up for that! I got a dose of what it feels like to be a stay-at-home mom, and let me tell you it is not easy. Unlike most stay-at-home moms, I had no one to relieve me of my duties– it was just me, but I survived and they survived– lol!

Although 2020, was not what I expected at all, 2020 was not in vain. During the stay-at-home order, I was able to reflect, think a little more clearer, determine what I wanted for myself and my family. During this time, I started working more on myself.

Lessons

One of the biggest lessons that 2020 taught me was self-forgiveness. It was one thing for me to forgive someone else, but finding it in my heart to forgive myself was something I often struggled with. We often put ourselves on a high pedastal and I am definitely guilty. When I would make mistakes, I often would say, “you know better than that” or ” how could you be so foolish?” I had to learn that the way I was speaking to myself was not okay and it was hindering my own growth process. The way we talk to ourselves and treat ourselves can be harsh, sometimes harsher than how others would treat us. I had to learn to give myself grace and I had to most importantly forgive myself for my transgressions.

In order to properly learn from my mistakes, it was important for me to first separate who I was from the mistakes I’ve made. I had to get out of the habit of labeling myself as a bad person because of the mistakes I made. I had to relearn how to communicate with myself. Instead of labeling myself as “bad”, I restructured my thinking by saying, “you are a good person who has made a mistake.” Once I separated myself from the mistake, I was able to learn from my mistakes, and how not to repeat them. Most importantly I was able to forgive myself and start the healing process.

One thing that I would often find myself doing was dwelling on past. That’s when the shoulda- coulda- woulda would set in. I learned that dwelling in the past served no purpose for me. It was one thing to acknowledge my mistakes, but to constantly dwell on them had not allowed me to move forward. I often felt stuck. But during quarantine, I learned how to fully acknowledge my feelings , process them, and come up with a plan to move forward.

Lastly, I learned that I owed myself an apology. It isn’t any different then when your actions cause someone else harm. In order to get back in their good graces, you apologize. I did just that to get back into good graces with myself.

2020 was considered my pruning season. I had to do a lot of internal work within myself. I’ve done the work and now it’s time to reap the benefits in 2021! Right now, I am in a good place in my life. I am continuously regaining my peace, I have cleansed my space and most importantly I have done the work. As I continue to grow and do the work , I understand that there will indeed be times when I’ll fall but now I know how to pick up the pieces and move forward. I have made a promise to myself to continue to do the work and strive to reach my full potential!

I hope you find everything you are looking for in 2021! Happy New Year!