Wow! I can’t believe 2020 is here! Although it is the start of a new year, I think it is important to reflect on 2019. To me self-reflection is very beneficial. It makes you more self-aware. It also allows you to stop-pause-and think about whether you should carry on how you are doing things or change it up. The year 2019 has taught me so much about myself.
Finding my Voice
Ever since I can remember I’ve always been shy and reserved. I think when you’re “quiet” people tend to think that you are a push over. I definitely know how to speak my mind, but I started to find myself settling for things that I really didn’t want. For instance at work I would just kind of go with the flow of things when I really didn’t agree with what was going on, I’d just let things slide. Or in my previous “situationship” (and yes a situationship) I allowed things to go on that I knew I shouldn’t have stood for. I found myself being really avoidant to the things that should have had my every bit of attention. I knew it wasn’t ok to continue to keep everything bottled up inside, but it was hard for me to speak up. I am not a confrontational person at all, I hate conflict. But I had to realize that speaking up is not confrontational, especially if you present yourself in a respectful manner. I learned that you can definitely disagree, but have a common ground. I also had to learn to be more assertive and less passive. This is something I’m still struggling with, but I am very proud of myself for being able to become more assertive. It feels soo good ya’ll! And after I “speak up” I’m like YES, I spoke up!
Asking for Help is Okay!
I come from a lineage of some very strong, successful, and independent women. I’m not going to lie, its hard for me to ask for help, but let’s face it everyone needs help. It’s not always a bad thing to ask for help. In 2019, I was faced with some difficult challenges, and I tried to face them alone. (BAD IDEA!!) Before I knew it I was in a very negative space. I thought that because I wasn’t crying on the outside that it wasn’t affecting me, but really I was crying on the inside. The things I used to like to do, I didn’t do. I couldn’t even be creative and create content. I was just really going through the motions of life; to simply put it I was alive, but I wasn’t living. My close friends and family could see that I was acting different, and I realized it to. I decided to do something about it and seek help—professional help. At first I was ashamed, I didn’t want to tell anybody that I was seeing a therapist. I felt that because I was in therapy that meant that I wasn’t strong and somehow I was defeated. But as I embark on this new journey, I have realized that it takes a very strong person to realize they need help and actually do something about it. I know now that I’m not defeated and actually have taken the proper steps to win!
Applaud the Baby Steps
We live in a society that wants everything NOW! I am definitely guilty of that. 2019 has taught me to be patient with myself. I am learning that just because I don’t have it “now” does not mean I won’t ever have it. I’m learning to applaud every baby step of progress I make. I am a work in progress. In 2019, I set a goal for myself to start a blog, I did that, but I thought it would boom and just take off. I remember my first blog post—- I worked on it for about a month, I hit publish and shared the news with my platform and I thought I would get 100 views (ha ha). Well of course it didn’t, BUT it did get views, and looking back that is definitely a small achievement that I should have applauded. I have to constantly remind myself that any small step of progress is worth applauding. It may not be what I expected it to be, but in God’s perfect timing everything will work out.
Now that we are in a new year, well actually new decade, I feel more positive. Some sort of renewed spirit has been spread upon me! I am actually excited about the new things the year has in store for me! I know everything won’t go perfectly, but I am hopeful that whatever life brings I can embrace it and come out on top!
I hope this post was inspirational to you! I am starting 2020 with 20/20 vision! I hope you are too! Happy New Year to you!
Please share with me any valuable lesson you have learned in 2019!